Ok. Let’s talk about Valentine’s Day, ya’ll. Because this holiday is hella complicated. I used to LOVE Valentine’s day as a kid. It was all about celebrating love for friends and family, and obviously lots of chocolate.

But when it took on a more romantic quality as I got older, I started hating it. Yesterday, which was Galentine’s Day (see Parks and Rec…) on the other hand is a holiday I can get 100% behind.

It’s just…this holiday comes with a lot of baggage. To be honest, I don’t hate Valentine’s Day because I’m single. I’ve been single since I came out as gay to my last boyfriend, and I’ve been in three relationships that spanned over a Valentine’s Day. And being in a relationship on Valentine’s was one of the most stressful things in the world. So. Much. Pressure. I mean, yes, all the chocolate and occasional flowers and/or stuffed animals were nice. But…if you’re going to have a day celebrating love, it probably helps if you can love your partner as a whole person and not have to pretend for the other person just to make this one day special. When deep down, you know it’s all a sham. And the other person knows it too.

So yeah, now I’m super cynical on Valentine’s day. But. This time around I can say it’s my first where I’m more true to who I am. And that’s 10 times better than the stress or having a relationship where you know you’re not being yourself. Valentine’s Day has been painful in the past, but hopefully moving forward, it can be celebrated in the way it should be. Whatever your feelings are about this holiday, just know you’re not alone and you don’t have to cave to the pressure. Seriously. Don’t base your worth on whether you’re in a relationship or not. Eat chocolate and watch Netflix. It’s much better to be happy with who you are and not who someone else wants you to be.