Closets and Bowties

This is going to be very gay and brief but Halloween was awesome. I wore suspenders and a bowtie for the first time, and I wanted to share some thoughts…

Why do we/I stay in the closet? Is it because it’s safer here…or less scary maybe?

It might be less scary, but I’m beginning to think it’s not safer here. Not for us. I used to think that up until quite recently.

I don’t think that anymore because we don’t stay in the closet for ourselves. We stay in the closet because of the “them.” Whoever the “them” is in our lives–whether it’s family, friends, church, co-workers–I imagine those of us in the lgbtq community all have a  “them.”

The closet is for their “protection” and “safety.” This is why we stay hidden in the shadows, repressing a part of who we are. We are the ones who suffer for it. The closet exists because of them. It exists for them.

But coming out of the closet…that…THAT my dear ones, is for us. that is for us when we’ve finally decided we’re ready to let others into our lives to see the real us. The queerness. The non-straightness. The “other.” It is at this point that the “them” in our lives may not like it. And we may still suffer, but you know what, we at least will be free.

I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I’m only out to a few close friends and Twitter because lgbt Twitter is awesome. The world outside the closet is new, scary, exciting, wonderful. And it. is. free. No one can take that away once I come out and accept myself whether others do or not.

Because I don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to live my life. My very gay, rainbow, suspender and bowtie wearing life. Don’t let anyone stop you from living and being who you are. Let’s learn to be free for in this freedom, we find ourselves and the courage to live life the way it was meant to be lived. And that way is not in a closet.

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