No, really. He does. And it scares me. When it comes to suffering in the world, I have a hard time believing it’s all God’s fault. I wrestle with the possibility that a good God is even remotely responsible for any of the war, famine, poverty, cancer, chronic illness, sexual assault–any pain out there surely can’t come from a God who is this great, holy, and just, good and loving Being.
But sometimes…it feels like we say things to make it all God’s fault even if we mean it in a positive way. “God is allowing this for a reason,” or “This is God’s will for you to go through this right now” are phrases that just rub me the wrong way.
Pain seems so…senseless. It rips open our worlds and turns everything upside down. And we always want someone to blame for it. I’ve researched various theological and philosophical works on theodicy and still I don’t have a well-formed opinion. It still bothers me that there’s a good God but suffering. I know…I know. He’s supposed to be good and it’s because of sin that we have the pain and suffering. But why doesn’t he stop it. Why…why can’t he stop this? I don’t understand. Just honestly tell me how this works, God.
I’m screaming at the sky
And I’m wondering why
You still care that i’m praying to you
How am I supposed to believe
That you’re anything more
Than a crutch to get me thru
So I clench my fists
And turn away from You
But not before You say
You can run away
And You can hate me
If you want to
You can scream my name
And curse Me to my face
But I still love You
And I will go thru this pain with You.
One thought on “God sounds like a sadist sometimes”
It’s an age old question. My thought? The fall, the curse so to speak.